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Tell jokes and funny stories in English – the present simple 3

In this class, you’ll learn how to use the PRESENT SIMPLE for telling jokes and funny stories in English.

We can use the Present Simple to tell a story:

Two goats are on a tree trunk over a mountain pass. They both want to go to the other side. However, neither one wants to let the other one pass. After a few minutes, they lock horns and fight; and during the fight, they both fall down and die.

Moral: It’s better to yield than to come to misfortune.

We can also use the Present Simple to say what happens in a film. For example :

I saw a great film last night. It’s about a woman who lives in Vancouver with her husband and two children. She works in a bank, but she isn’t very rich, and she has lots of debts. One day, she decides to rob the bank. But things don’t go as planned.

We often use the Present Simple to tell jokes. For example :

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer.

The bartender says, “You’re famous around here – we’ve got a drink named after you.” And the grasshopper says, “Really? You’ve got a drink called Steve?”

Most forms in the Present Simple are the same: I play, you play, we play, they play… HOWEVER, you need to remember the third person “s” with he / she / it:
• She lives in New York.
• He works at the hospital.

More Present simple activities here 


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